Of course God led me to the New Testament equivalent and completion of my Proverbs 4:7 puzzle from the other day.
Here it is:
Romans 11:33-36
Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowlegde of God!
How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out!
"Who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been his counselor?"
"Who has ever given to God, that God should repay him?"
For from him and through him and to him are all things.
To him be the glory forever! Amen.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Shifting
This is from one of the spiritual forefathers I admire most, Bill Hamon.
-----
This is a time of shifting in the Body of Christ. A time of shaking free of the old and embracing the fresh wind of His Spirit. It's a time for birthing the new things God has for us as His Church.
In her book, Spiritual Revolution, Patricia King shares:
“Every new birth requires diligence not only in the breaking of the membrane, which the prophetic and apostolic often accomplish, but also in the nurturing and maturation process that the pastoral and teaching ministries provide. The evangelists also need to be on board in order to proclaim the good news of the fresh move and ignite the Body with passion for this new season.
“In the coming spiritual revolution, a spiritual hunger will surface like never before. You will see hunger for the supernatural and for the raw power of God. Young people especially will search for deeper meaning to life. They are not looking for a church service to attend or for a club to join. They are searching for spiritual realities that transcend religious traditions. They are looking for models that can be applied to their lives. They are weary of simply hearing the words preached. They want demonstration.
Paul understood this principle, and we too must recapture the apostolic pattern. ‘And my message and my preaching were not in persuasive words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power’ (1 Corinthians 2:4). With the Holy Spirit as our Guide and Scriptures as our plumb line, Jesus will lead us safely through this transition into a broad place. Get ready for change…get ready for revolution—a spiritual one.”
Position yourself to be a catalyst in this revolution, check out our upcoming apostolic prophetic training opportunities in 2007.
-----
I, Kristin, honestly thank you for your prayers for me. It's been pretty torturous for me to walk through the emotions that the human soul is capable of in the last week. My mom said it well yesterday that it is always darkest before the dawn. What's been most torturous is that I have had to share the truth of who I am right now with those around me. This has really been breaking me of my pride. I am not always okay, like I would like to appear. I am not always happy. I am capable of emotions that I don't like to show because I feel like somehow they make me less human, less godly. Which is a confounding statement, really. (I guess I must think that humans and God never get sad or angry.) But in discovering this about myself, I realise I have held an unfair standard for myself and others around me.
How many times in acting class have I had the problem where I "won't go there?" Why? The honest answer is that I think people cannot handle it if I do. If I let people see my grief or anger, then they'll leave. But that's simply not true. Maybe that's been the pattern of the past, but that does not mean I need to be any less truthful about the extent of how I feel. Covering and acting like I'm okay when I'm not does no one any good, especially me.
So I'm stuck in this pattern of I'm really down and let people see it, then I act like I'm okay because I don't want people to think I'm not okay. But I'm not okay inside and I'm lying to them and just covering up what I really feel. This never allows me to heal from the pain I've experienced. It puts a band-aid on it. But a band-aid doesn't mean that healing balm is under there. It could still heal wrong, or not heal at all with a band-aid.
How have I come to all this understanding in the last few days? Last night I went to see The Pursuit of Happyness. I met another Kristin and I was just honest with her about where I was at. I didn't really smile or have anything funny to say. I was me at who I really am right now. Hurting and wondering how God's going to come through on this. And you know what she said, "We should hang out sometime." I found that odd. Cause I was pretty sure that if you meet someone and they are in such a bad mood that they can't smile, you wouldn't want to ever see them again. But she understood...and maybe she saw me for me, even through all the sadness. And I remembered that I was pretty down a few months ago when all this craziness started happening and met another girl, Katie. And she still talked to me a couple weeks ago even though when I met her I felt like a miserable person to have a conversation with. But she remembered me for how crazy the things were that were happening to me, not my unbelievable human reaction to them. And lastly, my roommate keeps telling me I am beautiful. I look like death-warmed over most days (I feel) and she tells me I have the face of an angel. I tell her just how bad my day was and she leaves me a note in the morning telling me that she was so glad she spent time with me. I'm not sure how that equates...cause it's so far out of my paradigm that it shakes me up a bit to know a human can think that way.
I see the pattern here in myself of what my dad is going through. What he's under, I'm under too. Generational sin. And today, I feel like the pauper who knows she's a warrior and wants to fight. Today I want to fight this. But fighting it looks so much different than what I think of fighting as. In my mind, fighting means strength and battle. But here it is honesty and self-awareness. How do I really feel right now? And being that. Being real...and letting myself heal over time. Letting myself greive over time. Whatever it is...it's okay to be that. I will fight to be honest. I will fight to not put on a show. I will fight to be made whole.
So what does Bill Hamon's word have to do with what I am going through? This is a time of shaking free of the old and putting on the new. Yes, I am shaking free of the old right now. Something greater has got to be around the bend. Yesterday, I felt like I couldn't hope in anything but heaven. But I'm still here, so there's something left...something to fight for. There is a shifting happening, and it starts in my own heart.
-----
This is a time of shifting in the Body of Christ. A time of shaking free of the old and embracing the fresh wind of His Spirit. It's a time for birthing the new things God has for us as His Church.
In her book, Spiritual Revolution, Patricia King shares:
“Every new birth requires diligence not only in the breaking of the membrane, which the prophetic and apostolic often accomplish, but also in the nurturing and maturation process that the pastoral and teaching ministries provide. The evangelists also need to be on board in order to proclaim the good news of the fresh move and ignite the Body with passion for this new season.
“In the coming spiritual revolution, a spiritual hunger will surface like never before. You will see hunger for the supernatural and for the raw power of God. Young people especially will search for deeper meaning to life. They are not looking for a church service to attend or for a club to join. They are searching for spiritual realities that transcend religious traditions. They are looking for models that can be applied to their lives. They are weary of simply hearing the words preached. They want demonstration.
Paul understood this principle, and we too must recapture the apostolic pattern. ‘And my message and my preaching were not in persuasive words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power’ (1 Corinthians 2:4). With the Holy Spirit as our Guide and Scriptures as our plumb line, Jesus will lead us safely through this transition into a broad place. Get ready for change…get ready for revolution—a spiritual one.”
Position yourself to be a catalyst in this revolution, check out our upcoming apostolic prophetic training opportunities in 2007.
-----
I, Kristin, honestly thank you for your prayers for me. It's been pretty torturous for me to walk through the emotions that the human soul is capable of in the last week. My mom said it well yesterday that it is always darkest before the dawn. What's been most torturous is that I have had to share the truth of who I am right now with those around me. This has really been breaking me of my pride. I am not always okay, like I would like to appear. I am not always happy. I am capable of emotions that I don't like to show because I feel like somehow they make me less human, less godly. Which is a confounding statement, really. (I guess I must think that humans and God never get sad or angry.) But in discovering this about myself, I realise I have held an unfair standard for myself and others around me.
How many times in acting class have I had the problem where I "won't go there?" Why? The honest answer is that I think people cannot handle it if I do. If I let people see my grief or anger, then they'll leave. But that's simply not true. Maybe that's been the pattern of the past, but that does not mean I need to be any less truthful about the extent of how I feel. Covering and acting like I'm okay when I'm not does no one any good, especially me.
So I'm stuck in this pattern of I'm really down and let people see it, then I act like I'm okay because I don't want people to think I'm not okay. But I'm not okay inside and I'm lying to them and just covering up what I really feel. This never allows me to heal from the pain I've experienced. It puts a band-aid on it. But a band-aid doesn't mean that healing balm is under there. It could still heal wrong, or not heal at all with a band-aid.
How have I come to all this understanding in the last few days? Last night I went to see The Pursuit of Happyness. I met another Kristin and I was just honest with her about where I was at. I didn't really smile or have anything funny to say. I was me at who I really am right now. Hurting and wondering how God's going to come through on this. And you know what she said, "We should hang out sometime." I found that odd. Cause I was pretty sure that if you meet someone and they are in such a bad mood that they can't smile, you wouldn't want to ever see them again. But she understood...and maybe she saw me for me, even through all the sadness. And I remembered that I was pretty down a few months ago when all this craziness started happening and met another girl, Katie. And she still talked to me a couple weeks ago even though when I met her I felt like a miserable person to have a conversation with. But she remembered me for how crazy the things were that were happening to me, not my unbelievable human reaction to them. And lastly, my roommate keeps telling me I am beautiful. I look like death-warmed over most days (I feel) and she tells me I have the face of an angel. I tell her just how bad my day was and she leaves me a note in the morning telling me that she was so glad she spent time with me. I'm not sure how that equates...cause it's so far out of my paradigm that it shakes me up a bit to know a human can think that way.
I see the pattern here in myself of what my dad is going through. What he's under, I'm under too. Generational sin. And today, I feel like the pauper who knows she's a warrior and wants to fight. Today I want to fight this. But fighting it looks so much different than what I think of fighting as. In my mind, fighting means strength and battle. But here it is honesty and self-awareness. How do I really feel right now? And being that. Being real...and letting myself heal over time. Letting myself greive over time. Whatever it is...it's okay to be that. I will fight to be honest. I will fight to not put on a show. I will fight to be made whole.
So what does Bill Hamon's word have to do with what I am going through? This is a time of shaking free of the old and putting on the new. Yes, I am shaking free of the old right now. Something greater has got to be around the bend. Yesterday, I felt like I couldn't hope in anything but heaven. But I'm still here, so there's something left...something to fight for. There is a shifting happening, and it starts in my own heart.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Shame
You know what's a shame.
I write honestly what I'm feeling and I get critised for it.
That's a shame.
I write honestly what I'm feeling and I get critised for it.
That's a shame.
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Kubler, not Sigur
Kubler Ross. Not to be confused with one of my favorite bands, Sigur Ros. Anyone recognise the name?
Kubler Ross was a pyschologist who wrote about the stages of death and dying. Really they can be used for any type of loss or grief. Not just death, death...you get the picture. So was anyone awake in psych 101 or psych seminar to name them? And can you tell by my tone of voice which stage I am in?
DABDA. That's how I learned to remember them.
D-Depression.
A-Anger.
B-Bargaining.
D-Denial.
A-Acceptance.
Today I am denial. Was yesterday too. Pretty much acting like this isn't happening. I'm glad my 3 years of Psych are good for self-diagnosis. Actually, having this knowledge (which I actually learned in high school...so i didn't even need college) makes me feel pretty normal. And it helps me to understand my family and where they are at day-to-day.
My sister told me Dad's back in the hospital. I don't know when that happened and I honestly don't feel like calling to ask. My aunt called me to find out if we knew anymore...I forgot to call her like I had promised. That's his sister. I got to ask a few questions about his childhood to see if she remembers him acting like this. She said their parents acted the same way. Always said everything was alright when it clearly wasn't. Interesting, huh?
So we're dealing with generational bondage (which looks just like nurture/learned behavior, but it is so much more than that) which is keeping him from acknowledging the truth. We need some fervent prayers, friends. Fervent prayers.
Kubler Ross was a pyschologist who wrote about the stages of death and dying. Really they can be used for any type of loss or grief. Not just death, death...you get the picture. So was anyone awake in psych 101 or psych seminar to name them? And can you tell by my tone of voice which stage I am in?
DABDA. That's how I learned to remember them.
D-Depression.
A-Anger.
B-Bargaining.
D-Denial.
A-Acceptance.
Today I am denial. Was yesterday too. Pretty much acting like this isn't happening. I'm glad my 3 years of Psych are good for self-diagnosis. Actually, having this knowledge (which I actually learned in high school...so i didn't even need college) makes me feel pretty normal. And it helps me to understand my family and where they are at day-to-day.
My sister told me Dad's back in the hospital. I don't know when that happened and I honestly don't feel like calling to ask. My aunt called me to find out if we knew anymore...I forgot to call her like I had promised. That's his sister. I got to ask a few questions about his childhood to see if she remembers him acting like this. She said their parents acted the same way. Always said everything was alright when it clearly wasn't. Interesting, huh?
So we're dealing with generational bondage (which looks just like nurture/learned behavior, but it is so much more than that) which is keeping him from acknowledging the truth. We need some fervent prayers, friends. Fervent prayers.
Monday, November 27, 2006
Proverbs 4:7
Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom.
Though it cost you all you have, get understanding.
I know I need to call my parents. I know how horribly hard it is for my mom to be making all these calls and trying to keep everyone updated. She committed to herself to not call people until she knew for sure what Dad's prognosis is. Still...I don't want to call her.
Get understanding.
There's this part of me that just wants to be in the dark about this. It's a glimpse of what my dad is under. I'd rather not know what types of cells they are and how previous patients have responded to different treatments. I'd rather not know how long he has to live if he gets treatment or worse, if he doesn't. Or his recovery chances.
The first day, I was all about understanding. I did lots of research on bladder cancer. Partly because I thought if I'm educated, Dad will be educated. If I know more, then we'll make better decisions. That follows reason, right? But with this spiritual side that we are up against...the only thing that getting knowledge is doing is making this a more God-sized task. If I know fully what happens, what needs to happen, would could happen...all the happens. If I know everything on this subject...and the best thing for him and he refuses it...it's all on God. All on his shoulders. He's the deliverer. He's the mighty one. So I wonder...is that the reason for the command to get understanding?
You know, maybe in the Hebrew that isn't the original intent and I could go look it up right now. But...this thoughts brings me peace. So...in the Spirit's exegesis...the command to get understanding is so that we know ALL stems from him and is held together and has it's being.
Rev 4:11
You are worthy, our Lord and God,
to receive glory and honor and power,
for you created all things,
and by your will they were created
and have their being."
Get wisdom.
Wisdom only comes from God. And wisdom says...this is for the good. This is going to turn out good...no matter what happens. Wisdom says I'm being prepared. I'm being made stronger. I've got lessons on 20 different subjects from this one. Wisdom is...this is for a purpose.
Sunday, November 26, 2006
End of the Day
I like this idea of blogging this out. Writing is my forte. Or one of them at least. And I know that, in time, this whole crazy mess will look like a gorgeous mosaic from the broken tiles.
Talked to Dad and Mom today. Conversation with Dad was short. He was readmitted to the hospital last night because he was in so much pain. PRAISE GOD! You know you just can't expect little things from God. Ever. I wonder when I'm going to get this through my head!??! My dad has had a grudge against this hospital for 20 years or so. Because they fired him. So he wouldn't go there. But because he couldn't urinate...he had to go. Finally. He had to put his grudge aside and go. He walked in and said, "I don't want to be admitted to this so-called hospital." Today he said, "I can now call them a real hospital." Will you look at that? God changed my dad's mind. I know you don't know him. But this is no short-order! God changed my Dad's mind! There is a GOD!
I was so happy with the progress in his healing (inner...as in emotional healing) that I went for the big guns. I started talking to him about the "cells" they removed. Because yesterday he couldn't handle the word tumor...so I tried cells. Cells. Cells is safe right? Nope. He told me they didn't remove anything and he handed the phone to my mom. Okay, so...they didn't remove anything, Dad. What's it take to get through to you? You know what...only God knows. Only God can get you to believe they took out a tumor.
So I talked to Mom for a while. She is having colon problems because of the stress. We prayed. And I know Gayle's vision of my mom handing this over to God is right. There's nothing she can do. She can't strong-arm him into treatment. She can't. If Dad rejects treatment or if he keeps saying he didn't have a tumor, there is nothing we can do. The doctor told my mom he can't be held responsible or have a lawsuit because of my dad's denial. No...we all know what's going on, dear doctor. We know.
Pastor Steve preached on demons again today. He's hitting it hard. And it's good. I got revelation into my Dad's odd behavior...which has been there ever since I was born. Maybe since he was a teen. In prayer group tonight, we had a male visitor...odd for us..but it was Kristy's husband and our pastor of mission, Tyler. He prayed about my dad's hurt from his childhood...and it struct chords in me that he was severly teased and mocked....I don't know how deep the rabbit hole is. But God does. Somewhere in there is the root of all this denial and lying. And Satan would love nothing more than for my Dad to never believe that he had a tumor and never have him get treatment. Cause he takes him out. But ah-ah-ah...you don't win in the end! And you don't now either.
Gayle had another vision for me tonight. She said she saw my family all toghether and we were joyous. We were an idyllic family and there was warmth in the house. Joy. Laughter and wholeness. And she heard, "Trust me, I know what I am doing with your family." And I see he does. Look at the accomplishments already. He is a great God. There is no one above him. No one. God's given me a vision of hope. He's given me a promise of restoration. And you can bet I am going to keep raising that in front of Satan as he goes down kicking and screaming.
Ran my heart out as well today!! 5K...cut 2 minutes and 8 seconds off of it. Running for someone because they can't is amazing fuel. I've never been so inspired to run unselfishly...pretty amazing the things God is showing me through these last 60 some hours.
God took seven days to create this crazy planet...I wonder what he'll create out of the chaos in the next 4 days. I know rescue is coming. Cause right now...we're in the boat, the storm is taking us to the other side...but Jesus is in the boat too. And he's so at peace, he's still.
Talked to Dad and Mom today. Conversation with Dad was short. He was readmitted to the hospital last night because he was in so much pain. PRAISE GOD! You know you just can't expect little things from God. Ever. I wonder when I'm going to get this through my head!??! My dad has had a grudge against this hospital for 20 years or so. Because they fired him. So he wouldn't go there. But because he couldn't urinate...he had to go. Finally. He had to put his grudge aside and go. He walked in and said, "I don't want to be admitted to this so-called hospital." Today he said, "I can now call them a real hospital." Will you look at that? God changed my dad's mind. I know you don't know him. But this is no short-order! God changed my Dad's mind! There is a GOD!
I was so happy with the progress in his healing (inner...as in emotional healing) that I went for the big guns. I started talking to him about the "cells" they removed. Because yesterday he couldn't handle the word tumor...so I tried cells. Cells. Cells is safe right? Nope. He told me they didn't remove anything and he handed the phone to my mom. Okay, so...they didn't remove anything, Dad. What's it take to get through to you? You know what...only God knows. Only God can get you to believe they took out a tumor.
So I talked to Mom for a while. She is having colon problems because of the stress. We prayed. And I know Gayle's vision of my mom handing this over to God is right. There's nothing she can do. She can't strong-arm him into treatment. She can't. If Dad rejects treatment or if he keeps saying he didn't have a tumor, there is nothing we can do. The doctor told my mom he can't be held responsible or have a lawsuit because of my dad's denial. No...we all know what's going on, dear doctor. We know.
Pastor Steve preached on demons again today. He's hitting it hard. And it's good. I got revelation into my Dad's odd behavior...which has been there ever since I was born. Maybe since he was a teen. In prayer group tonight, we had a male visitor...odd for us..but it was Kristy's husband and our pastor of mission, Tyler. He prayed about my dad's hurt from his childhood...and it struct chords in me that he was severly teased and mocked....I don't know how deep the rabbit hole is. But God does. Somewhere in there is the root of all this denial and lying. And Satan would love nothing more than for my Dad to never believe that he had a tumor and never have him get treatment. Cause he takes him out. But ah-ah-ah...you don't win in the end! And you don't now either.
Gayle had another vision for me tonight. She said she saw my family all toghether and we were joyous. We were an idyllic family and there was warmth in the house. Joy. Laughter and wholeness. And she heard, "Trust me, I know what I am doing with your family." And I see he does. Look at the accomplishments already. He is a great God. There is no one above him. No one. God's given me a vision of hope. He's given me a promise of restoration. And you can bet I am going to keep raising that in front of Satan as he goes down kicking and screaming.
Ran my heart out as well today!! 5K...cut 2 minutes and 8 seconds off of it. Running for someone because they can't is amazing fuel. I've never been so inspired to run unselfishly...pretty amazing the things God is showing me through these last 60 some hours.
God took seven days to create this crazy planet...I wonder what he'll create out of the chaos in the next 4 days. I know rescue is coming. Cause right now...we're in the boat, the storm is taking us to the other side...but Jesus is in the boat too. And he's so at peace, he's still.
How I'm Doing
It's only been two days since I found out about my Dad's buried secret.
The day I found out I left my house and came to a friend's. There is so much to do at my house that walking around it even caused more sadness. My inability to take care of the things I'd like to right now was too much to bear. So by grace, a friend was out of town this weekend and I have the key to her home. It has been a good weekend. It is a peaceful, beautiful home and I have been able to watch funny movies, walk to the ocean, watch the sunset, run a little and cry as needed. My roommate came over and spent the night last night. We went out for Coldstone ice cream and Panera Bread. Sure, I can't afford it...but who can without God's grace? So...I indulged a little and enjoyed every bite!
This morning is different than yesterday is different than the first day. 48 hours ago I woke to the news. 24 hours ago I got my errands done and bawled in the car on the way back to Debe's. I imagine every day will be a touch-and-go for a while, with me as well as with my dad.
It's hard to write about myself in this. But I know I need to. I am tempted to just keep talking about what happened yesterday or the latest denial report. But honestly, it's just as important to talk about what I'm going through....but it may be the hardest part. I'm good at caring for him, for asking others to pray for him, but because of my pride, it is hard to honestly do the same for myself.
When my world started crashing this year, my only solace was that my family was not being touched. I've read Job and studied Job and really believe that is the spiritual phase I am in right now. And I know, reading it, that his family was the last thing to be taken from him. I don't think God is going to allow that much...but even this seems like too much after all the other things. And of course it had to be my daddy. It had to be the one family member I cherish the most. Not that I don't love them all...I've just always had a really soft spot for him. And he for me. I don't know why...it's just that I understand him. The rest of the world doesn't. His wife doesn't. Don't get me wrong. She is committed to him and watched the 30 year marker on their marriage pass this week! Praise God. But God's given me the ability to see past most of it and to really love him. So, of course it's him.
Not that Missie and Mom haven't had their own losses as well this season. They've both quit their job and are looking at uncertainty. I cried at the uncertainty last week. But this week, I now know I am completely unable to do anything for them. God wants to do it all. If he doesn't show up, we're screwed. That's the simple explanation.
I imagine marathon runners might know what I'm going through. The last 5 miles have got to be the hardest. I haven't run one yet. I intend to run a marathon in the coming years. But I now have insight into what their perseverance looks like. You're tired. Your muscles are no longer operating on your might or your power. They operate on your spirit alone. It is your spirit that continues. That's all. After all, we are spirits with bodies. Not the other way around. Your mind says stop, your body falters...but your spirit says, "We're so close now. Keep going. The finish line is just around that corner. And you know who's waiting for you there."
Bless you. Thank you for being a part of my race and my dad's.
The day I found out I left my house and came to a friend's. There is so much to do at my house that walking around it even caused more sadness. My inability to take care of the things I'd like to right now was too much to bear. So by grace, a friend was out of town this weekend and I have the key to her home. It has been a good weekend. It is a peaceful, beautiful home and I have been able to watch funny movies, walk to the ocean, watch the sunset, run a little and cry as needed. My roommate came over and spent the night last night. We went out for Coldstone ice cream and Panera Bread. Sure, I can't afford it...but who can without God's grace? So...I indulged a little and enjoyed every bite!
This morning is different than yesterday is different than the first day. 48 hours ago I woke to the news. 24 hours ago I got my errands done and bawled in the car on the way back to Debe's. I imagine every day will be a touch-and-go for a while, with me as well as with my dad.
It's hard to write about myself in this. But I know I need to. I am tempted to just keep talking about what happened yesterday or the latest denial report. But honestly, it's just as important to talk about what I'm going through....but it may be the hardest part. I'm good at caring for him, for asking others to pray for him, but because of my pride, it is hard to honestly do the same for myself.
When my world started crashing this year, my only solace was that my family was not being touched. I've read Job and studied Job and really believe that is the spiritual phase I am in right now. And I know, reading it, that his family was the last thing to be taken from him. I don't think God is going to allow that much...but even this seems like too much after all the other things. And of course it had to be my daddy. It had to be the one family member I cherish the most. Not that I don't love them all...I've just always had a really soft spot for him. And he for me. I don't know why...it's just that I understand him. The rest of the world doesn't. His wife doesn't. Don't get me wrong. She is committed to him and watched the 30 year marker on their marriage pass this week! Praise God. But God's given me the ability to see past most of it and to really love him. So, of course it's him.
Not that Missie and Mom haven't had their own losses as well this season. They've both quit their job and are looking at uncertainty. I cried at the uncertainty last week. But this week, I now know I am completely unable to do anything for them. God wants to do it all. If he doesn't show up, we're screwed. That's the simple explanation.
I imagine marathon runners might know what I'm going through. The last 5 miles have got to be the hardest. I haven't run one yet. I intend to run a marathon in the coming years. But I now have insight into what their perseverance looks like. You're tired. Your muscles are no longer operating on your might or your power. They operate on your spirit alone. It is your spirit that continues. That's all. After all, we are spirits with bodies. Not the other way around. Your mind says stop, your body falters...but your spirit says, "We're so close now. Keep going. The finish line is just around that corner. And you know who's waiting for you there."
Bless you. Thank you for being a part of my race and my dad's.
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