Oh my goodness. My friends Dan and Amy got married yesterday. I am sitting here crying out of joy for them. I knew Dan in college, was in Istanbul with him...was with him and Amy both in Istanbul...they went on their first real date in April and he proposed that night and now they are married. WOW!
I remember talking to Dan one night at ISU about his process of finding the one and his views on the whole thing. He lives in Qatar and Amy in India. And when God prompted him to do something, he did it!...and they'll figure out the details later! That's amazing. So amazing. God is so faithful. And what encourages me so much is Amy knew that Dan was the one for her. She knew. She didn't talk about it much, but she knew.
God is so good to us. I could not put two people more right for each other together. They are PERFECT for one another. So glad that Dan did something about it when God called him to!
I've added Amy's wonderfully updated blog to my list of must-reads. I can't wait to see what God does through their marriage. They are a power couple for our Lord!
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Meet the MotorManiac
Tonight I was just pulling my truck out of the driveway. The traffic to the left had stopped for me and I had a clear gap in the oncoming from the right. It was one of those hours. Out of nowhere, it seems the traffic from the right was speeding at me so I excelerated so that they wouldn't have to slow down so much. Not a close call by any means.
When out of NOWHERE the motorcycle in the lead starts tailing me and comes up alongside my backend on the leftside of the vehicle, riding the double yellow line. He stays there. I'm thinking he's insane. He is. So then he passes me on the right and as he is he turns looks straight at me, puts his hand up to his face with his first two fingers pointing to his eyes (like Meet the Parents) and speeds away. Like, I'm watching you. Yeah okay Satan, way to try to scare me. I pulled into Trader Joes, got my milkshake goodies, a couple bottles of French reds and ran into wonderful Rob Roberts on my way out.
I know that person was clearly acting on some sort of demonic prompting. A lady told me earlier this week how her husband was in line at a store and the woman in front of him, really nicely dressed, turned out, looked him straight in the eye and said, "Your family is going to fail." She proceed to turn around, place her order and that was it. Kooky.
I remember before God really got a hold of me that I had similar outbursts. I would seemingly lose complete control of myself and be so rude or angry or just disgusting that I even shocked myself. God is good. Thank you for saving me.
Talked to Dad tonight. He is so cute. He sounds pretty ill, but he assures me he's not. His arthawrongis is hurting him...but he also assures me he is going to live many more years, well into age. I think I laughed. Would you look at his faith? Faith is not blind if it is based on something God told you. God must have spoken pretty clearly to him for him to remain so positive in the face of the continual barrage of bad news coming his way. God bless him and heal him.
I'm looking forward to Friday night as I am taking the youth group out to a play. Pretty exciting. We are going to AstroBurger first. Also, very exciting. And I've arranged for a backstage tour for them so they can ask questions or just understand it all a little better. The changes in the group structure and leadership have me wondering what God has planned. Tonight my pastor's wife really encouraged me and put many of my worries to rest. She said they were realising that youth group didn't have to be done the way it has always been done. That a woman can lead it...it doesn't have to be a man. That's incredible. We'll see, huh? No wonder Mr. MotorManiac was after me after that conversation.
I'm happy to be alive. God is renewing me. I have this sense of purpose because of this new endeavor with the kids...with LCi going well...dog walking is well, dog walking (great on the figure, but a bit tiring)...and my dad so up in spirits, he might just float away. I reiterate, God is good.
(Oh and Monday I went back to my old mentorship group that I hadn't made it to in 10 months. God re-confirming the direction, renewing my faith...in the unseen promises and reconnecting me with old friends. Just wonderful!)
Paix.
When out of NOWHERE the motorcycle in the lead starts tailing me and comes up alongside my backend on the leftside of the vehicle, riding the double yellow line. He stays there. I'm thinking he's insane. He is. So then he passes me on the right and as he is he turns looks straight at me, puts his hand up to his face with his first two fingers pointing to his eyes (like Meet the Parents) and speeds away. Like, I'm watching you. Yeah okay Satan, way to try to scare me. I pulled into Trader Joes, got my milkshake goodies, a couple bottles of French reds and ran into wonderful Rob Roberts on my way out.
I know that person was clearly acting on some sort of demonic prompting. A lady told me earlier this week how her husband was in line at a store and the woman in front of him, really nicely dressed, turned out, looked him straight in the eye and said, "Your family is going to fail." She proceed to turn around, place her order and that was it. Kooky.
I remember before God really got a hold of me that I had similar outbursts. I would seemingly lose complete control of myself and be so rude or angry or just disgusting that I even shocked myself. God is good. Thank you for saving me.
Talked to Dad tonight. He is so cute. He sounds pretty ill, but he assures me he's not. His arthawrongis is hurting him...but he also assures me he is going to live many more years, well into age. I think I laughed. Would you look at his faith? Faith is not blind if it is based on something God told you. God must have spoken pretty clearly to him for him to remain so positive in the face of the continual barrage of bad news coming his way. God bless him and heal him.
I'm looking forward to Friday night as I am taking the youth group out to a play. Pretty exciting. We are going to AstroBurger first. Also, very exciting. And I've arranged for a backstage tour for them so they can ask questions or just understand it all a little better. The changes in the group structure and leadership have me wondering what God has planned. Tonight my pastor's wife really encouraged me and put many of my worries to rest. She said they were realising that youth group didn't have to be done the way it has always been done. That a woman can lead it...it doesn't have to be a man. That's incredible. We'll see, huh? No wonder Mr. MotorManiac was after me after that conversation.
I'm happy to be alive. God is renewing me. I have this sense of purpose because of this new endeavor with the kids...with LCi going well...dog walking is well, dog walking (great on the figure, but a bit tiring)...and my dad so up in spirits, he might just float away. I reiterate, God is good.
(Oh and Monday I went back to my old mentorship group that I hadn't made it to in 10 months. God re-confirming the direction, renewing my faith...in the unseen promises and reconnecting me with old friends. Just wonderful!)
Paix.
Monday, July 16, 2007
Nonsense & Nice Toe Nails
It's frankly too early to be up writing. But given that my back pain, which has turned into sore, stiff leg pain, has been not allowing me to sleep much...what choices do I have? Also, for those of you who remember two years ago and the ganglion incident, the subsequent double healing (and then praying over it at Asuza for sustained healing...which worked)...I am indifferent to report that the ganglion is back. Although it has moved slightly to the southwest of my hand...I noticed that my hand looked broken while driving the other day. Alas...it's back.
I'm finding the whole bucket of "getting older" pretty much sucks. I keep digging to find some gold that sifted to the bottom but I'm pretty sure that college were the golden years and I missed it...having had boys and alcohol on my mind. I missed it. What is with all the aches and pains where you were injured coming to haunt you as you age? What is with the wrinkles that get worse when you're stressed? Have things always been this way but I just have more time to notice these things now? Somedays I wonder if Adam and Eve hadn't failed, would I still be here? Am I at all a by-product of sin? So if I was still created in a perfect world, wow...aging would be wonderful!
So...deterioration is normal. My pastor was telling us in a staff time that he's got to have knee surgery because he was something like 5 tares...and he pretty much lives with pain all the time. I remember in my idiot-ness of my youth I judged my mother because of her frality, her sickness and her pain. I judged her all the time. I encouraged her to get over it. Granted, she could have complained less...etc...but I had NO compassion for her whatsoever that her pains and sickness were real. It seems I am finally getting a glimpse of how dumb and rude I've been all these years.
Something happened last November when I found out that Superman/the Bionic Man/my dad had a tumor and my gut knew it was cancer. Suddenly my fantasy world, which he had built for us both, with his own two hands of predictable, "I'm healthy, always healthy" or "Never felt better" replies were given for simple "How are you?" exchanges. His world of denial, his bottles of Advil a week and my belief that it was possible to be totally healthy and never experience pain even into your 60s were brought into light. The following week I got into a pretty bad car accident and still feel the effects. (Talk about bringing a lesson home!) I hope every morning that I will wake with my body feeling like it did when I woke up at 14...but every morning I am reminded that this life is temporary. Every morning (and the subsequent frequent awakenings due to my back pain during the night) I am reminded that my time is short and I'd better live for something important because I don't know what next year holds.
My dad has become real in the last 7 months. I wish you knew him. I wish everyone knew him. He's a little Robin Williams and not really comparable to anyone else because he's really unique. He's Scott Williams Sherk and I fear he's not got long. That's so hard to write, so hard to say. The doctors told him he can quit chemo at any time he chooses...bascially, it's not working. I wrote a couple poems last week. I'll post them here to share with you.
You Weren't Meant to Die
The guttural groans
sound like old cedars
swaying in the wind
crying out against the pull.
In protest they long for
the stability of their youth
the strength, the brute tenacity
of reaching for the stars
as roots dug deeper
and water was easily found.
The salty streams
flow downward nocturnally
seeking out the lower grounds
needing a balm that heals.
So raw the places in these depths
like caverns undiscovered
full of sharp-edges and bright colors
waiting for some light to reveal
their incomparable beauty
that just the sound of the oncoming flood
brings unprecedented uncertainty
with tenderness shrinking
yet in bravery pulsing
at the thought of what change
might mean.
--Kristin Jo Sherk, 07.10.2007
Calling
I’m sad without you, baby.
Your petname is still up for debate.
How would you like to be called?
I’ll take it into consideration.
Honey, what’s Friday look like for you?
I’ll take Friday and Saturday and Sunday, too.
Can you drive a little faster, dear?
It’s lonely without you.
You missed another birthday, bear.
And Christmas wasn’t the same without you.
My daddy’s sick, honey.
Please come quickly, we haven’t got long.
--Kristin Jo Sherk, 07.10.2007
So lastly, a moment of appreciation for some concerted effort and wisdom from age. Simply that...painted toenails are very lovely. Seeing my own toenails growing and painted brings me simple joy that I didn't know I was being robbed of for so long...I had no clue! Happy to report I love having long(er) toe and fingernails. Totally nonsensical...but life's simplicities, created by God, are there for the taking. And I'm taking.
Have a wonderful day! May you know Him more and in knowing Him may you know your purpose.
I'm finding the whole bucket of "getting older" pretty much sucks. I keep digging to find some gold that sifted to the bottom but I'm pretty sure that college were the golden years and I missed it...having had boys and alcohol on my mind. I missed it. What is with all the aches and pains where you were injured coming to haunt you as you age? What is with the wrinkles that get worse when you're stressed? Have things always been this way but I just have more time to notice these things now? Somedays I wonder if Adam and Eve hadn't failed, would I still be here? Am I at all a by-product of sin? So if I was still created in a perfect world, wow...aging would be wonderful!
So...deterioration is normal. My pastor was telling us in a staff time that he's got to have knee surgery because he was something like 5 tares...and he pretty much lives with pain all the time. I remember in my idiot-ness of my youth I judged my mother because of her frality, her sickness and her pain. I judged her all the time. I encouraged her to get over it. Granted, she could have complained less...etc...but I had NO compassion for her whatsoever that her pains and sickness were real. It seems I am finally getting a glimpse of how dumb and rude I've been all these years.
Something happened last November when I found out that Superman/the Bionic Man/my dad had a tumor and my gut knew it was cancer. Suddenly my fantasy world, which he had built for us both, with his own two hands of predictable, "I'm healthy, always healthy" or "Never felt better" replies were given for simple "How are you?" exchanges. His world of denial, his bottles of Advil a week and my belief that it was possible to be totally healthy and never experience pain even into your 60s were brought into light. The following week I got into a pretty bad car accident and still feel the effects. (Talk about bringing a lesson home!) I hope every morning that I will wake with my body feeling like it did when I woke up at 14...but every morning I am reminded that this life is temporary. Every morning (and the subsequent frequent awakenings due to my back pain during the night) I am reminded that my time is short and I'd better live for something important because I don't know what next year holds.
My dad has become real in the last 7 months. I wish you knew him. I wish everyone knew him. He's a little Robin Williams and not really comparable to anyone else because he's really unique. He's Scott Williams Sherk and I fear he's not got long. That's so hard to write, so hard to say. The doctors told him he can quit chemo at any time he chooses...bascially, it's not working. I wrote a couple poems last week. I'll post them here to share with you.
You Weren't Meant to Die
The guttural groans
sound like old cedars
swaying in the wind
crying out against the pull.
In protest they long for
the stability of their youth
the strength, the brute tenacity
of reaching for the stars
as roots dug deeper
and water was easily found.
The salty streams
flow downward nocturnally
seeking out the lower grounds
needing a balm that heals.
So raw the places in these depths
like caverns undiscovered
full of sharp-edges and bright colors
waiting for some light to reveal
their incomparable beauty
that just the sound of the oncoming flood
brings unprecedented uncertainty
with tenderness shrinking
yet in bravery pulsing
at the thought of what change
might mean.
--Kristin Jo Sherk, 07.10.2007
Calling
I’m sad without you, baby.
Your petname is still up for debate.
How would you like to be called?
I’ll take it into consideration.
Honey, what’s Friday look like for you?
I’ll take Friday and Saturday and Sunday, too.
Can you drive a little faster, dear?
It’s lonely without you.
You missed another birthday, bear.
And Christmas wasn’t the same without you.
My daddy’s sick, honey.
Please come quickly, we haven’t got long.
--Kristin Jo Sherk, 07.10.2007
So lastly, a moment of appreciation for some concerted effort and wisdom from age. Simply that...painted toenails are very lovely. Seeing my own toenails growing and painted brings me simple joy that I didn't know I was being robbed of for so long...I had no clue! Happy to report I love having long(er) toe and fingernails. Totally nonsensical...but life's simplicities, created by God, are there for the taking. And I'm taking.
Have a wonderful day! May you know Him more and in knowing Him may you know your purpose.
Monday, July 09, 2007
A Little's Enough
Angels and Airwaves. Has anyone thought about their bandname? Anyone thought about the significance of both angels and airwaves? The significance of them together?
I now digress. I've been thinking a lot about Kingdom. The King's Domain. I've been thinking about the hope of the future. The eternal perspective of where I am right now, living in the modern-day Babylon, at a church being activated in the gifts. I've been thinking about my dad and the fact that there is no dilemma really. It's damn tough to see him going through this. And my physical eyes rarely get to behold him. But, even hearing his voice somedays is enough to bring tears to my eyes. There it goes...just the memory of it, though we spoke just hours ago, brings fresh water. Water to heal. The pain is real. It's real in this present time. The sorrow of the thought that I will live part of my life without him. It's real. It cuts deep. He is one of my great heroes, unsung for sure. But, by the day, his saintdom grows. With every flower he plants, every smile he shares, every time he laughs, he brings life, shares the hope of what's to come, he bypasses the temporal in exchange for the eternal. He is a hero and I wish he could be out and about to let more people see his bravery in the face of this beast.
There is no cancer in heaven. I long. I lonnnnnnnnnnnnng for him to be healed. Just one touch, Jesus. Just one. Just the faith of a mustard seed, tomorrow could be the day. Or, this may be the thing that takes him to be with his Lord. This may be it. I want more years. I want more time. Oh God, we want more time together! There simply is no cancer in heaven, so it can be that way here. I believe this with all my heart. Faith is the evidence of things unseen...faith is the stuff that proves that something else exists. I believe therefore it is possible. That's what the word says.
Angels and airwaves. They are both invisible too. But most people would admit they are there. It doesn't take much faith to believe that. In fact, who on this earth honestly believes that this world is it? Really? Really, do you? No, I doubt you do. If you believe in airwaves, you can believe in God. If you believe in airwaves you can believe that a man's time is not up yet and his healing will come through the prayers of the saints. It takes no more faith than listening to a song...and believing airwaves are real.
Please pray for my dad.
I now digress. I've been thinking a lot about Kingdom. The King's Domain. I've been thinking about the hope of the future. The eternal perspective of where I am right now, living in the modern-day Babylon, at a church being activated in the gifts. I've been thinking about my dad and the fact that there is no dilemma really. It's damn tough to see him going through this. And my physical eyes rarely get to behold him. But, even hearing his voice somedays is enough to bring tears to my eyes. There it goes...just the memory of it, though we spoke just hours ago, brings fresh water. Water to heal. The pain is real. It's real in this present time. The sorrow of the thought that I will live part of my life without him. It's real. It cuts deep. He is one of my great heroes, unsung for sure. But, by the day, his saintdom grows. With every flower he plants, every smile he shares, every time he laughs, he brings life, shares the hope of what's to come, he bypasses the temporal in exchange for the eternal. He is a hero and I wish he could be out and about to let more people see his bravery in the face of this beast.
There is no cancer in heaven. I long. I lonnnnnnnnnnnnng for him to be healed. Just one touch, Jesus. Just one. Just the faith of a mustard seed, tomorrow could be the day. Or, this may be the thing that takes him to be with his Lord. This may be it. I want more years. I want more time. Oh God, we want more time together! There simply is no cancer in heaven, so it can be that way here. I believe this with all my heart. Faith is the evidence of things unseen...faith is the stuff that proves that something else exists. I believe therefore it is possible. That's what the word says.
Angels and airwaves. They are both invisible too. But most people would admit they are there. It doesn't take much faith to believe that. In fact, who on this earth honestly believes that this world is it? Really? Really, do you? No, I doubt you do. If you believe in airwaves, you can believe in God. If you believe in airwaves you can believe that a man's time is not up yet and his healing will come through the prayers of the saints. It takes no more faith than listening to a song...and believing airwaves are real.
Please pray for my dad.
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