Death Cab

So this morning I've had one of those streams of consciousness going on. That's a psychological term for when one thought leads to another, leads to another.

I started thinking about self-control. And how the crux of self-control is actually God-control. Self-control is relinquishing your right to do it and let God. It's death to self. Self-control is inaccurately named.

Inaccurately named let me to think about Death Cab For Cutie's song "Title and Registration." Funny, huh? But there a line in there at the beginning about how the glove box is inaccurately named. But then the funny part was that this was a song about a car's glove box being inaccurately named. Cause no one puts there gloves in there. So of course, I start thinking about the accident and how I didn't have to show the police my title. They never ask for your title. That's just at the DMV.

Death. Death Cab. Death. Started thinking about death. And how physical death I don't think is as bad as the death we carry around in our bodies, as it says in 2 Corinthians 4:10. Cause dying to our selves (self-control) means that you are living through these deaths. Pretty painful. And this is, in effect, why I ultimately think I am down. There are parts of me that are dying. It's not a day at the beach. Well, sometimes days at the beach can still be bummers...but we won't get on that subject right now. There are parts of me that can no longer stay because of all that has happened to me and I'm ultimately grieving their goodbye.

Cab just got me thinking about the taxi I took home. There was nothing to explore there. It was just a thought to get me off the task at hand. Letting go. Letting God. Dying. Death.

So goodbye certain dreams. May you come back not in my might or strength, but if it is God's will. Goodbye pride. Sometimes you've served me well and other times you've almost killed me. Goodbye you know who you are. I'm being asked to let you go. And I've no reason to not obey.