I no longer think this blog is just about my dad's cancer. The whole story...well, I wish I could write the whole story for you...but some things I must save for a later time.
Last night I got in a car accident on the freeway. I rear-ended a 2007 SUV. His car has scratches. My car is undriveable. At least I had my iPod on at the time and it is still working...I was listening to "Enough" by Barlow Girl. And I was singing it at the top of my lungs. Go out in style. Go out in style.
So then my phone dies. I had called my roommate when the accident happened to try to come and find me. But you know how it is? You're practically delusional. You hope the other person is okay. I even thought about the movie "Crash" while I was there. CHP is on the scene...I start crying. It's horrific.
Cop 1 (Nice Cop) hands me off to cop 2. Cop 2 (Wee Bit Flirty Cop) and I start talking. I tell him I have a whole new appreciation for cops after playing one on TV a couple weeks ago. He tells me to not take this the wrong way, but I'm way too pretty to be a cop. No offense. They told me that on set too. I'm happy about that fact. But believe it or not, they can make you look butch if they want to. Thanks for being nice Copa 1 & 2. Cop 2 hands me off to Cop 3 who will now be referred to as Macho Cop.
So my roommate tries her best to find me with the limited and bad info I gave her before my phone died. But she doesn't get there before the tow truck arrived. She apparently had passed the scene, but didn't see us. So there I am on the freeway with macho cop who's telling me I need to get in this tow truck and he'll take me to Denny's at Burbank and Sepulveda. And I can call someone from there. I asked him how I was supposed to call anyone...my phone was dead and I had no numbers. (Little did I know I also had no cash on me.) He seems shocked at this. "There's no where in that big purse of yours that you have a number?" I told him unless I wanted to call my dentist, no.
So suddenly I get this bright idea that if he's sending the Tow Truck to drop me off somewhere maybe the Tow Man will take me to my old place which is close by. Nope. Has to be a safe spot. So...I tell him there is an IHOP on Ventura and Haskell. So he says, get in the car.
Now I feel like a detainee, a little bit. Macho Cop acting like my dad. "Put your seat belt on." I asked him if that was the law? I wasn't tryng to be smart, I honestly didn't know and couldn't remember if CA law required me to wear one in the back seat. "Absolutely." I told him it wasn't that way in Iowa. "How long have you lived here?" Two years. Already two years and 4 months.
He's driving like a madman. Those cars have amazing horses in them. He drops me at the corner, I say, "Bless you." And he turns his lights and sirens on and speeds away. Show off.
So I start walking to my old place. Thinking of what I'm going to do if Jeanie is not home, trying to remember the names of the neighbors. The only one I could remember was Marta, a woman who is mostly bound to a wheelchair and does not drive. I was pretty sure Jeanie would not drive me home, as she was not friendly, just a roommate. So...as I walked and cried...I wasn't sure what to do. I was passing Burger King and thought maybe I can get help there. Odd thought. I looked, I only had a dime. At least I couldn't say, "I don't have a dime to my name." But the phone cost 50 cents to make a call. I remembered one number: Gayle's. It's one of the only numbers I do not have stored in my phone, but I remember it for that reason alone. I asked a man for change to make the call. I was so hopeful. Gayle to the rescue! He let me use his cell phone instead...she wasn't home.
Turns out this man is a taxi driver. Just so happens. It costs me $30 to get home. I charged it on a credit card, hoping for the day I can make payments.
I plug my phone in and call my mom. I tell her I'll take her up on that offer for money. She said she just sent me some for my birthday. I tell her I need thousands...any other day, the amount she gave me would have blown my socks off! I can't believe their generosity in this most difficult time...but just due to my own circumstances, somehow $500 didn't seem like much. That saddens me, because I know what a sacrifice that amount was and I was calling for much more than that. Her solution is to take out a loan...I'm not sure what to do to get this car fixed.
Text the roomie: Marcy. She is still driving around trying to find me. Sad. I quick email people for prayer and lie down on the floor, where I have been sleeping anyways...to try to straighten out my back. I'm in a lot of pain and my ribs are hurting too. I'm lying there shaking. Not sure if that was shock or pain or the coldness of our house...but somewhere in the middle of talking to my friends, I decide I do need to go to the emergeny room. So around 10:45pm. Marcy takes me to UCLA.
Movies are larger than life, right? Umm...not so in LA. I have never seen an emergency room like this. There was a line to get checked-in. I stood for a bit, there were no chairs. And then, I found one. I don't know how long I waited to get checked-in...but finally I did and they moved me to the waiting room. There were two men in there who were bleeding from their heads. I watched as they waited for an hour to be seen. Chances for me getting seen where very low. So we waited until 1am and we left. I couldn't wait in the waiting room, which is not for patients, any more. I was uncomfortable, my body was shutting down cause it wanted to repair. Sorry, Marcy...what a waste of time for you.
This morning, I'm feeling better. Got a letter from my mom that her old boss is suing her for taking a rolodex that she purchased for herself in order to organize things better. Thing is: she took the contacts with it...did not leave them there.
By the way, my dad is in the hospital because he has infections from his surgeries. He's been there all week. I guess he is bothering the nurses quite a bit. He is 66 years old. Did I tell you that? He's also now addicted to pain medication as he was taking pain pills for so long to try to deal with the cancer instead of being treated.
We're laughing now as there's nothing we can do. I'd like to leave you with the words I was belting as I crashed my car yesterday:
You're enough, you're enough, you're enough for me.
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